I could not agree any more with this article on the need for bold courageous parents. We are surrounded with wimpy parents scared to death to do the right thing and be firm with their children. They don’t want to wound their poor little spirits.
That is complete hog-wash! The only way to raise great kids is to be firm.
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I am 19 years old and I recently did and arguement paper for my college English paper and I came across this site. I couln’t agree more with the article and what others had to say! I grew up with strict parents and I have turned out with good murrals and I truely believe the only way to raise good children is to be tough!
I completely disagree %100…It’s okay to be strict at the right time but while I was growing up, my parents were very protective and controlling. They tried to be a part of every aspect of my life—they wanted to know who my friends were, they told me when to go to bed, they gave me strict curfews, they blocked any websites or television programs they didnt approve of. Because of these things, I felt incredibly trapped and over-whelmed and I rebeled. I grew up with a drug problem that I am still tempted by. I started drugs to keep my mind off of the stress I had to deal with from my parents. I am not saying it is okay to let your children run free and do what they please. Drugs and alcohol abuse shouldnt be accepted, but it should also be dealt with gently. Being a parent can be tough, i realize that, but strictness and compulsivness with your children, ESPECIALLY teenagers can only make them rebel. Remember that by keeping them away from the world, when they finally get to be on their own, they wont know how to handle it and they may use their freedom in the wrong way. Its important to guide your kids, but not to control them. Remember that they are individuals who are different from you.
Jen,
The balance seems to be with firm parents that you have a good relationship with.
As Josh McDowell would say rules without relationship leads to rebellion. That seems to be the issue in your case.
Yeah you think being tough with kids is going to solve anything? Its okay to show your kids where you stand on things and keep them from harmful things, but you have to raise them right so when they get to their teenage years they make THIER own wise decisions.
my father is strict always criticizes mom and me unneccessarily and used to this and on the other side my mother is gentle and caring she balmes the pains arised by father.father used harsh words and loud voices which people heard and we are ashamed of ourselves as of bad impressions by him created for us.he even did fights at times and we have to be rude with him unnecessarily.so much waste of our life time as from five years of mine to 37 – 32 years i am paitiently hearing him and my mother more suffered due to him.love is necessary in a relationship – all we remember care of our mother,relatives and friends and forgets works of our father only cause he speaks rough and with bad attitude.so moral of the story is to love and take care of your childrens and tell them important things in life by playing with them and in a good jolly way and laugh with them when they do any mistake.
even i did not do my marriage in my point of view that she will suffer along with us in a bad atmosphere created by father
I am constantly trapped in my own home. I am 17 years old and I am constantly monitored by my parents. My mother is on one side while my father is on the other. My mom wants me to have my senior year. I had to stay home for my senior homecoming and the reason was because I was immature, am on a crazy train but aren’t alot of teenagers goofy and out to have a good time? I try to be hopeful but I have been grounded on and off for about 6 months now and I fail to see the sainty in it. I am not a little girl they can force to stay in the house 24/7 and I feel so hopeless…but as they would say if I wasn’t so immature then none of this would’ve happened but I have a feeling if it wasn’t one thing it would be another.
Trish,
I can hear the pain in your voice and I think I understand. What you really need from your parents is boundries with a strong relationship. That is a really difficult balance but it is obtainable. Hang in there, I think your parents are reacting this way because they love you and they are a bit scared. Just because they are parents does not mean they are perfect but they most likely love you alot.
You need a balance in perspective, thats all. i mean if u deserve it(bad grades, bad association, bad conduct, got caught watching porn)then you should know that if they did not care about your future, they\\\\\\\’d be like, Bring it on! But they do, so know that at least u have parents and know that theres one upside of being caged in.
You wont worry anymore if you\\\\\\\’ll get caught doing something.
I grew up in both sides of the argument.
One side was my father who completely let me do what I want. Trusting me that I make a wise choice in life. The days were happy and enjoyable for both him and I.
The other side was with my mother who did the opposite. I even made wiser decisions when foreseeing the outcome. But the days were hard and painful to endure.
So, I suggest taking your own judgment and not theirs. They control you because they want you to think like them, to make decisions under their accord, and to also see how their knowledge helps them.
My parents were very strict on me especially my mum. She was so controlling. She used to practically tell me what I should be doing and not doing. My father is so judgmental towards people. I was so scared of both of them. I couldn’t date a guy I like and therefore didn’t have a boy friend until last year. I was so tired of my mum’s ways that I just grew tired and walked out and got married to my hubby (as she disapproved him). She was threatening to blackmail me, which I didn’t give in. She thought that I will be intimidated. I just felt so disgusting towards her that I decided that I didn’t want to talk to her any more.
I just don’t agree with the point of parents being strict over there kids as it makes them more stubborn and it creates more damage than good to both parties.
Okaii my parents are strict ass hellllll.! they dont let me chiil with guys at all,! not even guy cousins,! its like okai do u want me to turn fck`n lesbian>! buht yae i have to be home at 7:3o and im sixteen.! i cant tlk too guys., kiss them on the cheeck.! i have to come from skool straight home.! i do chores in my house.! and my parents basically want to spend tome with meh all weekend.! no parks.! no clubs no parties no nothinq.! i have too take them to sweet fifteens. and stuff,! and i get threaghten with leavinq were i live and go to mexico.! i hate them so much.! i no ppl say that means they care .buht tahts all bs.! buht yaeh i cant have bf. tell i graduate high skool ! wtf is taht im gonna be old as fck.! buth yaeh w/e,! i have to deal .with it.! and my mom is constanllie tellinq meh noo one will ever like a skinny bitch taht cant cook for shit.! but if onlie. she new,! taht niqqas will love to for meh to be there wifes.! and shit.! well let me stop,.! before i tel ya my whoel life storie.! buht yea peace,! and help,!
i’m 11 years old in the 7th grade. my dad is so strict. sometimes i hate it so much but when i think about it, i think his strictness will benefit me later on in life. some rules that i have are no more than 30 minutes of tv a day unless its the news or something informational. nothing like MTV, BET, VH1 u know all of the good shows. my dad also expects me to get straight A’s 4.0 GPA or no sports. and i am a girl who loves sports so i have never gotten anything less than a 4.0. another strict rule that i hate is my “homework hour” my dad makes me and my siblings sit down and do atleast an hour of homework everyday. if i don’t have homework, i still sit there for an hour. at my house everything is scheduled. breakfast 7:30 dinner 6:30 if you’re not there right on time at the table you don’t eat and don’t even think about going into the kitchen! i kinda have a bedtime the rule is “you don’t have to go to sleep just be in your room at 9:00.”sometimes i think my dad expects too much from me but i know he just does it because he loves me.