01/07/2005: "The Counselor in Me: MarriageBuilders.com"
In my job, there are busy times and quiet times. In my quiet times I am able to explore the Internet. I frequently go to some of the nicer chat rooms and try to strike up conversations with “nice” people. Believe it or not, I have met some pretty cool people. But I have also met some deeply hurting people.
The one thing that strikes me again and again out on the Internet is that there are tons of people in a lot of pain. And in the chat rooms these people share this information freely like they are in a confessional and I am their priest or counselor. I must admit I love that role. I also know that this is a role where there is great responsibility and I take that role seriously.
Anyway, what I hear again and again is the pain that people are experiencing in their marriages. Spouse does not understand me, spouse does not love me, spouse does not fulfill my emotional needs etc.
Well I am not an expert on marital issues but there are great resources on the web that are just fantastic. One of the best web sites for marriage issues is www.marriagebuilders.com. Dr Willard F. Harley, Jr., PhD runs this site. He is best know as author of the internationally best selling book, “His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-proof Marriage”. He has been a Licensed Psychologist since 1975 and he has created a system that has proven to be very effective in saving marriages. This site is packed with tons of great marriage building information and is clearly one of the leading marriage sites on the Internet.
It just so happens that Dr. Harley now lives in the twin cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul with his wife Joyce Harley. Joyce has a radio show “In-focus” on a local Salem radio network station AM 980 KKMS .
Back to my point, as an amateur marriage counselor, I end up praying with people online about their marriage and I point them to this web site. I think that the “Marriage Builders” web site is a great tool and may very well be helping in the battle to save marriages.
Not only is this site great for troubled marriages, but also is excellent for improving already good and strong marriages. Dr Harley has a concept of a “Love Bank”. If each spouse if filling each other’s Love Bank, the couple will feel like newly weds all over again. Check out A Summary of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts.
So, I heartily recommend this web site to all couples considering marriage, to those that have been married a long time and need a little lover refresher and especially to those of you that are struggling in your marriage. Be sure to tell a friend!
